Most of us are guilty of taking our parents for granted.
As children, we don’t appreciate all the things they do for us. As adults, we become too busy with our own lives that we fail to consider that they might need or miss us.
One woman recently shared her story of how different her life is without her mother.
It’s a beautiful tribute but also heartbreaking.
Niki Pennington posted:
“My day doesn’t look anything like yours no matter how hard I try to make it. Some days I try and pretend like it’s a day where I can call her but I’m choosing not to call her instead. Some days I just dial her number to see ‘Calling Mom’ on my phone. Some days I grab my grief by the horns and I tell it that talking to her out loud is good enough. I tell grief that I don’t need to hear her voice because her words are etched in my heart. Yet, most days the reality is that’s not good enough and never will be. I wake up and realize all over again every morning the reality of my grief. The reality that she is still gone, and no amount of pleading or begging can bring her back even for one second. Not even for a quick ‘I love you’ or hug.”
“Chances are I’ll have exciting news during my day, even something as simple as surviving a grocery store trip with all three children by myself. I’ll want to call her as soon as I get home to tell her. Maybe I’ll have a bad day and need to just hear her calming voice telling me even when the world feels like it’s against me, she’s always in my corner, always on my side, even when I’m wrong. I can call but she will never pick up.”
“I’ll have a moment in my day where motherhood seems so overwhelming and I think I’m failing at everything. That I am not doing everything right or doing the best I can as a mom and I’ll want to call her and just cry into the phone. I won’t have to say anything because she’s the only one who can understand my tears without the words. She’ll know all the right things to say. She will know to tell me that motherhood is messy, that none of us are perfect and that is the beauty of being a mom: that there is no perfect way to do it. She will tell me I am a great mom and she knows this because she knows my heart because I’m part of her. I can call but she will never call back.”
“I’ll have a moment in time where I am 32 years old and still have questions that I want to ask my mom and I will never be able to get her answers because I was robbed of that time, robbed of the answers to those questions. As a motherless daughter, my day looks a lot different from yours if you are able to pick up the phone and call your mom. My day starts and ends differently every single day and always will.”
As expected, her post went viral.
She didn’t make the post for sympathy or attention, though. She did it to help other people who are grieving or maybe even help someone who hasn’t yet lost a parent understand how important it is to spend time with them now. Her post has over a thousand likes and has been shared over 2,000 times.
Niki’s mother died of terminal brain cancer five years ago.
Niki created a Facebook page where she shares tributes to her mother, talks about her life without her mother, and shares photos of her family. The page is meant to not only help her channel her own grief but also to offer support to others who are struggling with loss.
Please SHARE this with your friends and family.
My day doesn’t look anything like yours no matter how hard I try to make it•Some days I try and pretend like it’s a…
Posted by Grief To Hope with Nikki Pennington onWednesday, March 7, 2018
Source: Grief to Hope with Niki Pennington, Love What Matters
