Raising a child with an ex-partner is one of the hardest challenges that parents have to go through. There was a reason for the break up and it can be hard to look past your own pain to stay on good terms for your child. A child can be caught in the middle, which is the most tragic part of parents fighting. Madison Holley held that very fear for her child, Cade Mcilveen. Madison and her ex-partner, Tyler Mcilveen, were afraid they would never be able to get on good terms again following their break-up of a two-year relationship. Thankfully for Cade, they would be able to co-parent well following their initial struggles.
Holley explains that at the beginning of their break-up, “”We were in different places and I’m very headstrong, so it was hard for us to agree on things.”
It became an even more tenuous co-parenting situation when Madison moved on with a new boyfriend, Cody Pietz. Holley remembers that in the beginning of her relationship her and Tyler were not even on speaking terms and that her boyfriend, Cody, would have to message Tyler for her. It was not until Tyler moved on with his new girlfriend, Karin Gray, that the exes were able to move forward and co-parent better. Holley willingly gives credit to Tyler’s girlfriend as being the person that helped repair everything.
“Meeting Karin was when we both became happy again. I think meeting new people who put our child first and respected that we had Cade together no matter what and us both being happy again helped,” Holley says.
Karin wanted all four adults to sit down for a meeting and discuss how they would all put Cade’s needs first. That meeting Karin wanted all four to resolve any hurts or issues from the past, so the four adults could create the best parenting and loving future for Cade. Karin’s meeting was the beginning of their blended family and everyone left on better terms.
Following this parent meeting, the four adults started to get along very well. Karin and Madison have even become close friends. They celebrate holidays together, so Cade can have all his parents around at once. When Madison and Cade were expecting a child of their own, it was not only about their small family, but the entire blended family. This future sibling was going to be a sibling for Cade, so it was a moment for all.
Waylon Pietz was born on August 2nd, 2019. Madison took a picture of the new family walking out of the hospital and it soon went viral. The picture was of Tyler, Cade, Cody, and newborn Waylon leaving the hospital. The two dads walked their sons out of the hospital, all holding hands.
“This photo was taken 24 hours after I gave birth to my second baby boy, Waylon. The guy on the left is my ex, the 3-year-old holding his hand is my first child, Cade, we had together. The guy on the right holding my sons’ Right hand is my fiancé, and the newborn baby Boy is our child. Just because a relationship doesn’t work out between two people DOES NOT mean the relationship with the child shouldn’t.”
The road might have been long for this blended family to get to that point, but for Cade and Waylon’s sake, it was worth it. Madison stated that if or when Tyler and Karin decide to have children of their own, she knows her and Cody will be there for them in the same way! Blended families can be tough, as Madison explained but she has some ending words of advice for new blended families that are struggling like they did.
“I hope that by this photo going viral it can inspire people to put their past aside as long as both parents truly want what’s best for the child … Children sense stress and we are their role models and safe place, so the easier things are with everyone, the better for everyone.”
Well said and thank you Madison, Karin, Tyler and Cody for being such a great example on how to become a blended family!
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